Castle in the sky

I have been going back to school everyday for this whole week. Though the feeling of going back school alone is sucked, I just miss school and friends. I don't want to graduate so soon. It's just so headache to decide the new route for my life right now. Help! I am so lost! Hope I can get a job and slowly figure out everything.

Letting go of someone you like is never easy, but holding on is even harder and it hurts like hell. I rather get hurt once and for all than holding on to this thin thread of hope.

Found this song today. It suits my mood perfectly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H35SOGtW4P8

So close yet so far!

Today is a super duper boring day for me! I woke up at 8am to go to Toa Payoh just to meet Michelle. The plan was a big failure, didn't turn out like how we had expected it to be. Went home after that, decided to do my work and the computer gave up on me. The programme kept crashing, making me feel like just give up and go sleep. I watched HIMYM newest episodes. I have been missing out so many episodes. Woke up and talked to Ayu and a few friends. That is how my day was spent. It was pretty boring! Argh I need to find a job as soon as possible or else I will get autism very soon.

Today is the second day. I guess it is not going to happen. What was I thinking about? I am nothing in your heart. Things are becoming clearer but the truth is so hard for me to accept it. Why do I feel like you are thousands miles away?

Letting go

Lol, seem like whenever I feel troubled, I will always come back to my blog. No wonder all my posts are always so emotional. Things have not been going great lately. I'm starting to lose trust in everything, people that I called friends, betraying my trust and manipulating me. Sometimes, I wonder why people would do such things, gossiping and spreading rumors. Does doing all those benefit them in any way?

Anyway, I feel lost. My instinct betrayed me. I was so sure you would have feelings for me too. It's always been guys chase after me, take initiatives to talk to me first. But for this time, it's the first time I've ever actually made effort chasing after a guy, took all the initiatives and worst of all, the first guy that I have ever confessed to, rejected me. Well I guess, there's always the first time. I always fear of changing and rejection and now I'm experiencing one. This feeling sucks to the max but I cannot do anything about it. However, I'm not regretting of this failure because I know I've tried my best. I just hope it would gone as soon as possible. I want my normal life back!!!

. I feel tired of everything, tired of trying.
Tonight, I'm letting this feeling go for real.